No FOMO

First off, what is FOMO?

FO·MO: fear of missing out.

/ˈfōmō/

noun

anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website.

I think at some point in life, we all go through FOMO. We feel like we are missing out on an opportunity, an event, a moment that others are experiencing. Growing up in a strict household, I felt FOMO at a very young age. It was something as simple as coming back home when the rest of the neighborhood kids were still playing outside when the sun went down. Being forced to sit in a room of girls and talk when the boys were in another room playing video games at family functions. Not owning an easy bake oven...LOL. Stupid, yet as a kid, that was important to me.

As I got older my FOMO got worse, especially during middle school and high school.

My friends were always allowed to come over to my house, but I wasn't allowed to go to theirs. I rarely attended afterschool events, and hanging out with my crush was out of the question. Senior year is when the FOMO hit hard. I didn't get to go on the senior trip, prom or any other special events. Although I did resent my parents for some of these things, I look back and don't regret not going. 

Once I started working and gained financial/general freedom, I was so excited to finally live on my terms (to an extent). I stayed out longer, went to different parts of my city and explored as much as possible. I was grateful for the new experiences, but I realized there was not much that I was missing out on. Staying out wee hours of the night was not that fun for me. Clubbing was wack since people don't actually dance unless they are drunk (and I don't drink so just imagine...but that's a whole other blog post for another time.) Doing things that the general public boasted about wasn't all that it chalked up to be. I learned that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Even though I have the peace of mind that what I have in life is more than enough, there will always be the notion that you are missing out on something. It seems that our current generation is all about FOMO. You either feel it, or you are inducing it. The biggest weapon when it comes to FOMO is definitely social media. Nowadays, these platforms are less about keeping in touch and more about painting this pretty picture of your life. Some call it a highlight reel or a curated lifestyle to appear as if you have the life of your dreams. This doesn't apply to everyone, but a vast majority of the social media partakers can agree that all they ever see on their feeds is someone "living their best life".

We scroll down our feeds and what do we see? Someone is traveling, someones at a concert, someone's ootd is all high-end designer. We can't help but feel like we can't catch up or keep up. Like I've mentioned before, we're in a constant race with each other. But who ends up winning? None of us. Social media is linked to the increase of depression and loneliness in young adults. There's no one to blame but each other.

I've always been a daydreamer and fantasize about my dream life, but I'm also a very realistic person who knows that hard work and patience will get me to that point. I'm also very grateful for my life and all the wonderful experiences and opportunities I've had thus far. But I'd be lying if I didn't compare myself to others on the internet. 

When that girl from high school went on her 2nd trip of the year, to DUBAI! Ugh, I wish that was me. When friends attend a cool new art exhibition and get the perfect pictures, I want one just like that! That new dessert spot with diabetes served on a plate, oh yes! Sign me up. 

It wasn't until I was in some real-life situations that made me realize that a lot of this FOMO was about shit that I'm not even into. I attended events that were hyped by social media just to end up in a room full of people awkwardly on their phones. I visited those cool artsy exhibitions, only to feel an overwhelming amount of awkwardness when strangers stare at me while I'm trying to emulate the perfect shot for the gram. Uh yeah, I don't recommend visiting such events unless you're really into art like that. Go to a concert, and all you see is people recording instead of actually enjoying the performance. I think I will discuss validation in another blog post, but I came to realize that people have this constant thirst for getting validation on their life experiences. I don't want to sound like I am on some high horse, but I am happy that I don't need acceptance and validation from others.

Some might say I have JOMO; the joy of missing out. But that's not the case either. I just feel indifferent when I see certain posts nowadays. I don't feel like "ugh I wish that was me!" or "thank God I'm not a clout chaser". Okay fine, I admit I do think the latter from time to time 🤐 lol. But I have the mindset of "that's cool for this person!" or "wow, good for them!" It is totally possible to scroll through your feed without feeling personally attacked. 

I think it is vital for us to remember that our lives are one of a kind. We need to be thankful for what we have and work hard to achieve more in life. I also want to clarify that I am not knocking down everyone that posts cool things on their pages. They could really just be sharing something they are proud of, a happy moment, or a wonderful memory without any ill motive behind it. We don't know if the person that is posting their glamorous life online is really going through hardship behind their camera lens. The point is, don't take someone else's feed personally.

Nowadays, I feel FOMO in the sense that I am not where I want to be in life. I have so many goals to accomplish and I have the constant fear of failing and missing out on my dream life. I try to keep a positive outlook when browsing through the internet and gather inspiration rather than jealousy. I am quite content with my life. Of course, there's so much room for improvement. But what keeps me grounded is that it will happen for me when its meant to. I don't need to prove myself to anyone. 

I hope that if you deal with FOMO, this will convince you that you are not missing out on anything. You are exactly where YOU need to be. Your life and desires are in your control. So lead cautiously.

xoxo,

Feems