It's That Time of Year

I know you probably heard this countless amounts of times, but can you believe this year is just about over? I still cant believe how fast and shitty this year went, but that's why I look forward to the New Year.

Every year since I graduated high school, I hated the winter. Up until a few months ago, I didn't even know that I wasn't the only one who went through this seasonal anxiety. In fact, it wasn't til earlier this summer that I realized that this was referred to as SAD which stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. Now I'm not going to sit here and diagnose myself (it almost seems like a trend to claim a disorder, and I don't want to take away from those that seriously suffer), but I do feel a bit relieved that I'm not the only person to go through this.

Basically, at the beginning of Winter I would become extremely miserable and depressed. A lot of it had to do with the end of semester chaos in college. I felt like a failure, and I felt like I didn't have enough time to fix my mistakes. The end of the year approaching would make me feel like I wasted another year being a loser and not becoming the person I wanted to be. And since my birthday is on Dec. 25, the fact of getting older also made me depressed. I always felt like I didn't live up to my potential and I let myself down.

Of course there were many other factors with my seasonal anxieties, such as break ups and heart breaks, the unbearable feeling of isolation and constantly feeling pressured to have my life together.

Needless to say, I always dreaded this time of year. But I guess life has its sick ways of changing things around. 2015 has by far been one of the worst years of my life. A lot has happened this year which has taught me that I do not want to lead a life of misery. Since this entire year was a shit storm, the seasonal change didn't have a negative impact on me. In fact, I've never been so eager for the holidays as I've been this year.

I am enjoying hearing Christmas songs at stores, I love looking at decorated houses in the neighborhood, I love layering up! Overall, I've been in a better mood this time of year. Its crazy how your mind can control you. All those years I used to be miserable was because I let situations swallow me whole. I used to let my failures get the best of me. Now I use those failures as a lesson. I reflect on all the failures I had this year and I'm sure I went through all of that to become the person I am today. Instead of beating myself up, I'm going to better myself. I'm looking forward to doing a lot for myself this upcoming year. I cant wait to grab my blessings with my own hands. I will just have to accept and embrace any failures that come my way.

I hope anyone reading this has a great new year. If you go through seasonal anxiety yourself, just know you're not alone, and that its okay to go at your own pace.

As always, happy reading <3

Reflections & Resolutions (Life Changes, Thinking Positive)

HAPPY DECEMBER! I'm not sure if I'm so excited about December because I'm in the holiday spirit, or because its my birthday month! For those of you that don't know, my birthday is on the 25th! That's right, I'm a Christmas baby lol. Its not as cool as it sounds, but I'll explain that in another post.

With the holidays coming up and year ending, I've been reflecting so much on this past year. Regardless of the losses and hardships that this year brought, I grew a lot this year. I learned so much from analyzing the people and the world I live in. A lot of it has brought a great deal of pain and sadness to me, but I decided I can't let that rule my world. I want to be happy, I have so much to be thankful for and I want to be a positive person. It all starts in the mind so I am going to try my best to think positively from here on out.

The first thing I decided to tackle is my body image. I've let go of myself big time and I'm just not as confident as I used to be. I have already made changes in my diet and am trying to workout at least 3 times a week. So far, I feel so much better. I feel energetic and productive. Instead of eating unhealthy foods and hating myself for not fitting into my clothes, I am hopeful of the attaining the shape I want because I know I'm putting in the time & effort in getting there. If you don't feel happy in the body you're in, it could affect your mental health a lot. The best thing to do is change that so you one less thing to worry about, and focus on changing other aspects of your life.

The bigger ordeal to overcome is my mindset. Its so hard for me to be 100% and happy when there are always things getting in the way of that. I deal with a lot on daily basis. Of course, a lot of it comes from not having a job. A lot of it comes from ups and downs of friendships/relationships. And of course the biggest tragedy I dealt with, loss of a family member. These things plague my mind on a daily basis but I have to remind myself; there has to be more to life than just the negative.

This is what I tell myself now: Be thankful that you have supportive parents. Be thankful that you don't have major loans or bills to pay off. Be thankful that you don't have kids to take care of. Be thankful for the friends who are there. Be thankful for love. Be thankful for good health. Be thankful to live another day and have another opportunity to make the best of life. Focus on the POSITIVE

I get so caught up in competition with myself that I get really upset when I don't meet my goals. I really thought that I'd have a full time job this year and be far off in becoming a successful journalist. Damn, I was dreaming. The road to success is a long one and the road to happiness is even longer. But that road could be detoured if you decide to find happiness in other places, so that's why I have decided to change my mindset and embrace my failures. They'll only help me grow more.

You don't have to wait for the new year to begin your resolutions. Everyday is a new day and can be the fresh start you need to make your life better. If you want to make changes in your life, its now or never. Pushing back goals will risk losing momentum, and never reaching those goals. Besides, there's no guarantee of tomorrow so seize the day and make the changes to your life that you want to make NOW. I know its easier said than done, but take things step by step.

I don't expect to reach my goals overnight, but I do find solace in knowing that I am trying. And that, is enough for me.

Happy reading xoxo

Sweater Weather Tag!!

Hey everyone! I decided to do the Sweater Weather Tag on my channel because I felt like answering these random questions would give y'all a closer look into my personality. I love watching tag videos or reading tag posts and I'm excited to finally participate in one. I plan on making more soon!

OPI nail polish mentioned http://www.ulta.com/ulta/browse/productDetail.jsp?skuId=2156350&productId=xlsImpprod5180201#

Here are the SWEATER WEATHER TAG Questions just in case you want to do this tag!

1. Favorite candle scent?
2. Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?
3. What’s the best fall memory you have?
4. dark lips or winged eyeliner?
5. Favorite fragrance for fall?
6. Favorite Thanksgiving food?
7. What is the weather like where you live?
8. Most worn sweater?
9. Must-have nail polish this fall?
10. Football games or jumping in the leaves?
11. Skinny jeans or leggings?
12. Combat boots or Uggs?
13. Is pumpkin spice worth the hype?
14. Favorite fall TV show?
15. What song really gets you into the fall spirit?

Hope you enjoyed this post! Til next time, xoxo

Praying For Paris and Praying for Humanity

The tragedy that took place is Paris might be one of the biggest wake up calls our generation will experience. As I've been reading around the Internet and hearing on the news, we may have a World War III coming into play real soon...

Every single day, in all corners of the world there are attacks being made, people getting killed, suicides, deaths, bombings, shootings, etc. Why is it that the media only covers it when it happens to an elite city? I am not saying this to downplay what happened in Paris, not at all. Anyone who knows me, or has visited my page before knows that I am in love with the city of Paris. My heart is in shambles after learning about what is happening in the world we live in.

The situation with terrorism has gotten so unbelievably out of control, that now people cant even think about the most beautiful city in the world without being frightened. It seems that whoever is responsible for such heinous, inhumane actions is not fulfilling their sick quest of killings in the Middle East alone. They wont stop until the whole world is under their attack. It hurts my heart so much that these devils on Earth are bringing such evil upon us and also ruining the reputation of an entire religion.

At the end of the day, we only know what the media feeds us. We truly don't know who is involved and who is doing this. I pray that this terror ends. I pray that we could live in a world where people tolerate each other and are compassionate. I pray that people keep their minds and hearts open and radiate love instead of hate. I pray that people do not turn on each other and create wars among themselves. I pray that humanity be restored back into this world. I pray for humanity.

Paris, Je t'aime

What I learned about FRIENDSHIP in 2015

(pic via. Pinterest)

I'm sure you all have heard this quote(above) before. I always find it strange how when you first meet someone, you never know how long they will be in your life. But as I've learned, time tells all. 2015 has been the most difficult year of my life thus far, from losing a family member to dealing with identity issues and pressures of society/my own, I found myself always searching for consolation. On top of everything else that I was dealing with, I had to deal with loneliness as well.

Despite having friends, I always felt lonely. I remember reading back on journal entries from 2013 when my social life was thriving and I had my "crew" of friends to go out with. You would think as someone who always wanted a group of friends to do everything with, that I would see this as a dream come true. But even being out with friends was not enough to fill my void. Not saying that I didn't completely enjoy myself or connect with my friends, but there was a certain void that would devour me whole. My journal entries mentioned this constant feeling of loneliness, which I have yet to shake off. 

This year has slapped me in the face with so many harsh realities, and one of them unfortunately was the weight that friendships hold. When you're constantly surrounded by friends, you take it for granted. But when life throws you in situations and you feel stuck on who to turn to for comfort, that's when you realize how important friendships are and how important the kind of person you  become friends with is.

This year has taught me so much about the importance of friends, and also the importance of understanding who your real friends are. Lets break this down:

Friends for a reason: This kind of friend enters your life and in some way, shapes it. They teach you about life, perspective and lot about yourself. You can learn good and bad things from a friendship like this, or even meet more friends because of this person. Your friendship has levels, and they have a purpose in your life. I've made so many friends throughout my life, and each person I was friends with have taught me a lesson. Whether it was learning about a culture, foods, places, religion, news, etc- this kind of friendship expanded my horizon one way or another. Even if you disliked qualities of the friendship, at least it taught you about yourself and your likes and dislikes. This person might have put you through tough situations, which you either came out stronger, or learned a huge lesson from. That's a positive way to look at it. 

Friends for a season: Things might have been great for a while, but when the sparkle fades and reality sets in, you begin to realize the friendship has an expiration date. This person once was your go-to, your BFF or just a cool person to chill with, but now you don't even speak. Sometimes you just become so distant that the ending of such a friendship is mutual. When you're ok with it, its a relief that you don't have to force yourself to engage in a relationship that lacks authenticity. But when its with someone you were so close to, it feels like getting stabbed in the back and falling backwards. But that's when you really appreciate the amazing friends that have stood by you throughout it all, which brings me to the next category:

Friends for a lifetime: These are the people who keep you sane, who get you, who understand you can't cater to them 24/7 and live up to unrealistic BFF standards. You may go weeks, and even months without talking to these people and the LOVE will still be there. This is unconditional, this is a bond that stays strong through the highs and lows. This is the kind of friendship everyone needs to stay sane.

The lessons I've learned

- People prioritize friendships differently
- There needs to be effort made by both people in the friendship, not just one person
- You don't need to hangout with someone all the time to be close to them
- Not everyone has your best interest in mind

- Friends come and go

- Having no friends > having unreliable friends
- Its OK to let go of toxic friendships

-  It's ok if your significant other is your best friend

- Always let your friends know, no matter how busy you/they are, that you appreciate them

- Always support your friends to be the best version of them
- Talking to a friend really does help heal your wounds sooner

- Keep it 100% with your friends to avoid further conflict

- Its ok if you don't have a "squad" or "crew"
- Doing things on your own helps your creative side grow 

The most important lesson I've learned in 2015 as a reflection on all the friendships I ever had, is to be my own best friend. Put yourself and your feelings first and your friends will either understand or not, and that will determine if they are here for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I hope whoever reads this is blessed with TRUE friends, because even if you have just one true friend, you have it all.

P.S. to any of my friends reading, I love you. I am grateful for you.

Thank you for reading, xoxo

Subtle Plum Makeup || Super Easy & Affordable

Hey loves! I'm back with another fall makeup look! I wanted to switch up my makeup and play with fall colors, and I came up with this berry toned look! 

Since Autumn/Fall is my favorite season, I have to take advantage of the warm color palette that this season has to offer. Granted, rules are meant to be broken so you can wear this look all year round! Did y'all like how I had Christmas music playing? Haha, I really wanted to keep the "plum" theme going so I decided to play Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy in the background :)

Since I don't have a lot of eyeshadow palettes, I made due with what I already had and was really pleased with the outcome. This goes to show that even if you don't own a lot of makeup, you can get creative with what you already own. Check out the product list below as well as some up-close pictures. Thanks for stopping by :)

Products Used:
NYX HD Concealers in Glow & Medium
Maybelline Fit Me Matte+Poreless Powder in 220 Classic Beige
NYC Sunny Bronzer
NYX Eyebrow Pencil in Black
Essence I Heart Stage Eyeshadow Base
NYC Trio Eyeshadow palette 785 "Central Park Plums"
NYC HiDef liquid liner in Black
Wet n Wild Coloricon eyeliner in Black
Jordana Best Lash Extreme Volumizing Mascara in Black
Wet n Wild Max Volume Plus Mascara in Black
ELF Longwear Lipliner in Bitter
ELF Mineral Lipstick in Beautiful Berry
Estee Lauder All Over Face Compact 323 "Fresh Plum"

Thrift Haul || October 2015

Hey beauties! Welcome back to my page. Check out my thrift haul below!

Goodwill Industries Outlet Store & Donation Center

47-47 Van Dam St, Long Island City, NY 11101

Find a store near you HERE

I'm on a roll with these videos, right? Haha I'm trying to become more comfortable talking to the camera and editing. Practice makes perfect, or so they say! I really enjoyed sharing these pieces with y'all and I can't wait to wear them. I hope you found this haul worthwhile. Till next time! xoxo

Fall Inspired Look || Pumpkin Spice Makeup

Hey beauties! So I'm finally back and this time with something very different!

I've been seeing this "pumpkin spice" inspired makeup trend a lot on YouTube and Instagram and I love how it looks. Its basically a lot of warm, fall colors such as burnt orange, plum, burgundy, etc. I feel like depending on your preference, there could be endless amounts of looks that can be created with this concept. I tried to create a look that was a little more bold for me (since I always stick to neutrals) and I really like how it came out!

Products Used:
NYX HD Concealers in Glow & Meduim
Essence I Heart Stage Eyeshadow Base
Maybelline Fit Me Matte+Poreless Powder in 220 Classic Beige
Wet n Wild blush in 833E Mellow Wine
NYX Micro Brow Pencil in Espresso
NYX single shadow in LOL(orange) and Showgirl(copper)
NYC HiDef liquid liner in Black
Maybelline gel liner in Blackest Black
Kiko Lip Pencil in 305 Earth Red
Jordana Matte Lipstick #38 Taupe
Revlon Colorstay Overtime Lipcolor #380 Always Sienna

Here's a video of me doing my makeup!

This is my first official YouTube video and let me tell you, there's a reason why YouTubers get paid! This took a lot of work. From filming (I used my cellphone) to editing, adding music and voice overs, phew!!! It was quite the headache to figure all of this out but I'm very satisfied with the outcome. I am proud of finally doing something that I wanted to do for a long time. I apologize for the crappy quality, but I didn't want to let the lack of a professional camera hold me back any longer.

Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this video and are inspired to try out this fall makeup trend! As always, happy reading and look out for more posts coming soon! xoxo

Collective Summer Faves! (July+August 2015)

Hey my lovelies! I know I always do monthly faves but by the end of July I realized that I didn't accumulate enough products to do a full post on. I guess you can say that I was enjoying some of the products from previous months. So I decided to wait til August was over so I could combine both months and come up with a collective favorites post. Needless to say I gathered a good amount of new and old faves to share with y'all, so keep reading to get the 411!

Skincare

Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque- This mask is a holy grail since I hit puberty lol. The cooling effect it has is so soothing after a hot summer day. If I feel like my face is extremely greasy or clogged, I like to treat myself to an instant facial with this minty goodness. Its a must!

Radical Skincare Youth Infusion Serum- If you follow me on Instagram then you would've seen that a couple of months ago my friend/sister in law who worked at Space NK gave me a bag of skincare goodies. Amongst those products was this face serum. Though I'd probably never purchase this serum because its ridiculously expensive, I'm so glad I got to try it. I like to apply this lightweight serum after I have washed and toned my face and before I apply a moisturizer. I love the citrus scent and cooling effect it has, and its not greasy it all! If you can get your hand on a sample or afford the real deal, definitely add this serum into your skincare routine.

E.L.F. Makeup Mist & Set Spray- I recently purchased this product and I love it! But instead of using it to set my makeup (not necessary for me since I don't wear much besides BB cream and eyeliner) I use it when I'm outside and feeling dehydrated. NO, I do not drink it lol but when I feel extremely hot and sweat profusely, I whip out this spray and spritz it 2-3 times on my face and I'm instantly cooled off. It has Aloe, Green Tea, Cucumber and Vitamins A, C & E which is all GREAT for your skin. I know I'll be using this through the rest of the year because it refreshes my complexion when I feel like I look a bit dull.

Simple Oil Balancing Wipes- As you can tell from the picture, I totally used up these babies lol. I first tried out these wipes when I got a sample pack (7 count) in the mail. I really enjoyed how the wipes were moist and not dried out. They do a good job at removing the first layer of makeup off your skin, but I always like to double cleanse and use a face wash afterwards. I went ahead and purchased a full pack (25 count) of the oil balancing wipes. To be honest, there's nothing special about these. They work the same as the original wipes. But they didn't irritate my skin so I found it to be quite handy this summer

Makeup

Garnier All day Shine Control BB Cream- You guys...I found the perfect BB cream for myself. I hate foundation and I tried it out for the first time this summer and once again validated how much I hate how it makes me look/feel. I opt out for BB creams because they're lighter(weight wise) and some claim to help the skin. When I saw this BB cream which claimed to control shine and had SPF 20, I had to have it! I'm so happy to finally have a cream the evens out my skin tone without making my pores feel clogged/being cakey. I only use a dime size of product and apply it to my undereyes, on and around my nose, and around my mouth. I spread it out to my cheeks evenly either using my fingertips or the Real Techniques Buffing Brush(right of pic) which is part of the Real Techniques Core Collection Set. This brush makes the application so even and smooth, it really looks flawless. And of course the soft bristles make the applicatiton enjoyable as well hehe

Lips

From L to R listed below

Both lip pencil on the left side are Kiko Precision Lip Pencils in shade 303 "Indian Red" and 305 "Red Earth". I would describe 303 as a brown nude with slightly pink undertones. Shade 305 is more of a red and brown combo. Both lip pencils were gifted by my sweet cousin, and I must thank her once more because I really love these colors and its proves how well she knows my taste haha.

I mentioned the Nyx slim lip pencil, Jordana Matte lipstick and Gerard Cosmetics lipstick in my your lips but better post so head over to that to see why I love these shades and where to get them!

Accessories

I got this cute little pencil case from Rite Aid from the dollar isle. Since I'm not in school/work, I dont need a pencil case but I fell in love with the print and so I was like, I'm using this as a mini makeup bag! For $1, why the F not??!

I like to carry smaller handbags/backpacks in the summer because helps me minimize the amount of stuff I carry and this pencil case has helped me narrow down my absolute necessities. I hope this inspires you to utilize your cute pencil cases for makeup related purposes. Saves a little $$ while being smart!

fits in my necessities perfectly

Last but not least I wanted to give a shout out to my sunnies. These adorable round sunglasses from Forever 21 have a really unique look to them but go with everything. I couldn't find the exact glasses on the site but they have a huge selection of round sunnies if you're digging that Jackie O vibe, click here to check em out.

I honestly don't care to pay a lot for sunglasses because they always break or get lost. I liked these glasses because they had a subtle floral design on the temples. If someone sat close to me they'd notice the design and tell me how cute the floral is, and who doesn't love compliments?

floral detailing on the temples

Once again, another month(s) and another faves. I love testing out new products but if find stuff that I really love and use, I become a creature of habit and stick to those and seldom try out new stuff. Plus, why waste money buying stuff that's hyped up by others if you already have products you love? I think I'll elaborate on that subject in a future post.

This has been one of the least productive summers I've ever had. I didn't really do anything fun and I had a cloud of negativity floating over my head for the most part. This year in general has been a tough one but I've been trying to be more positive recently because I don't want to drown in a self pity pool. Hope my lovely readers had a better summer than I did lol and if not, its OK because we can look forward to something to come. I love the Fall so I am excited to start layering up, Fall fashion and a new beginning. As always, happy reading my friends. xoxo

#tbt: A Pinch Of Paris (Summer 2014)

Hey lovelies! So I thought about sharing some #tbt pictures of my trip to Paris from last summer. Background: After I graduated college, my mom really wanted to go to the UK to see her sisters. Since we have been to the UK before, I wanted a new experience so I convinced my dad to let us go to France as part of the trip. Claiming it as my graduation gift, he booked us flights and hotel reservations for 3 days in the beautiful city that is Paris.

I cannot express how amazing this city is. When I was younger, I always wondered what the big deal was when it came to Paris. How come people swooned at the Eiffel Tower? Whats so special about this place? But I decided to find out what the buzz was, and I have to say- I fell in love at first sight.

There is such a serenity in the streets of Paris. Yeah, there are thousands of tourists and locals crowding the streets but yet there is a calm in the air. My second day in Paris, which was exactly a year ago from today was the longest day. We spent 14 hours walking all around the city, taking the metro transit and also a cycle taxi ride that you'll see below! Despite the endless walking, language barrier and wardrobe malfunction (shown below) I have to say that this old city is worth coming to. It is indeed very romantic and magical. I look forward to coming here with my future husband one day. I will always remember this trip as one of the bests, and hopefully I will be able to visit Paris again, for a much longer time. My mother and I also consider moving here someday! (we're that much infatuated with the city!)

At the time, I took so many pictures but only posted a handful to my personal Instagram. This is the perfect opportunity for me to post the pictures of my trip. WARNING: There are an excessive amount of pictures of the Eiffel Tower, but do you blame me?? She's a beauty.

[all pictures are my own, enjoy!]

Arriving at the Jardin de Tuileries

Lourve Museum

Musee de Lourve & Arc de Triomphe

Selfie at the Arc de Triomphe

Group of cyclists leaving the Pont des Arts bridge ( Love lock bridge)

Love Lockdown

Shakespeare and Company bookstore

Inside the bookstore (so relevant to my life haha)

Souvenir shop

Cycle taxi to Notre Dame

Notre Dame Cathedral

Paris street art

Dome des Invalides

Back to Jardin de Tuileries for a carnival

Scariest ride of my life

Rest stop at the Grand Bassin Octagonal

La Tour Eiffel, aka The Eiffel Tower 

Mesmerized by the Eiffel Tower

FAIL

Realizing what a fail the last pic was

Outfit fail: thought I dressed like a "French girl" only to realize I was dressed like a mime... no wonder everyone was staring....

Crepes!

Most anticipated moment: Lighting of the Eiffel Tower

Heading back to the hotel using the metro

Au revoir Paree, til next time!