I get my feelings hurt on a daily basis. What can I say? I'm super emotional human being. And now that I've decided to put myself out there on social media, this blog, and YouTube, I've opened up the doors for a lot more criticism.
I always have to remind myself of certain things when people intentionally and unintentionally hurt my feelings, and I want to share them with you guys!
5 Things To Remember When People Hurt Your Feelings
1. Maybe they didn't mean to
Ugh, I know right. But maybe the person who hurt your feelings didn't mean to! Maybe you're just taking it the wrong way. I know sometimes I take things too seriously and make them a bigger deal in my head than they really are. Trust me, its a lot easier to assume that the person who hurt your feelings probably didn't mean to.
2. What provoked them
In the case that the person who hurt your feelings
did it on purpose, you have to realize that it has nothing to do with you. If a person is going out of their way to bring you down, most likely they're unhappy with themselves. After all, misery loves company, right?
This person was provoked by the dissatisfaction of their own life that they took out their negativity on someone else. Instead of feeding into their negativity and causing self-doubt, just ignore this person and their remarks. It's irrelevant.
3. Don't let this stunt your growth
When people criticize my YouTube views/amount of followers, it definitely makes me want to cringe and cry in a corner. I'm not going to lie, sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and delete my channel. But what for? Because of silly comparisons?
I always have to remind myself that I am a beginner to this. It hasn't even been a year since my channel and I still have loads of growing to do. I can't discredit myself of all the hard work and guts it took to put my videos out there in the first place.
Don't allow these remarks to bring you down and stop you from doing what you love. Whether you're working towards weight loss, education, work, any kind of challenge- keep working towards it and keep track of your success. Whether it be social media related or real life, don't let someone else's success hinder yours.
4. You either confront them or cut them off
In the case that this is a person you cant avoid at all (friend, family, coworker) you have to confront them. You have to let them know that they have been hurting your feelings and that it is making it hard for you to connect with them. Yeah, its awkward as hell to confront people, but how else do you expect change to take place? You cant expect people to know how much they are hurting you especially if it isn't intentional (from their end). Once you confront the situation head on, it will allow opportunities of clarity, forgiveness and give the person a chance to change their approach.
In a case where you've completely given up on this person and know they only cause harm to your life- cut them off. You don't need this person in your life if they are constantly hurting your feelings. Avoid them as much as possible (without going great lengths). Don't hang out with them, avoid going to social gatherings where they might be, and block all forms of communications. They'll get the hint.
Life is too short for toxic people to disrupt your happiness and well being.
5. It's all about perspective
Tying all the factors together, sometimes you just have to step back and examine the situation unbiasedly. Sure, the remark initially hurt your feelings and made you sad. But was what the person said actually beneficial to your growth?
It sucks when someone you lean on for support gives you tough love and accidently hurts your feelings. You have to see it this way: they are trying to help you, not hurt you. Their words may have been sharp, but it comes from a place of love. They want to see you reach your full potential, therefore, they don't sugar coat their critique. Always give yourself a moment to fully sink in their words and then react.
If you can already tell someone's intent was malicious, remind yourself that they are irrelevant. Don't take their words to heart, instead, use it as fuel. Turn their negativity into your positivity and let it be the push that takes you to further heights. Trust me, it's the best feeling to show out on those who once doubted you or put you down. Let your success and happiness make the noise instead of reacting, because they'd love to see you fall.
In the end...
Your feelings are what you're left alone with at night. A hurtful remark may replay in your head over and over again, but we already have so much of our own feelings to deal with. Why let someone else's negativity to take up space in your head?
What I hope you can take away from this is that we are all going to get our feelings hurt, its part of everyday life. But allows give yourself the benefit of learning from these situations. Retrieve, reassess and respond with caution.
Happy reading!! xoxo
